Shadow

He woke up one morning to find that his shadow had disappeared.

He sighed. It wasn’t the best start to the day, waking up to find that his shadow was gone. Still, there wasn’t much that he could do about it, right at the moment. There was so much else that needed doing. His wayward shadow would have to wait.

And so, he went out into the world and got on with the business of the day, trying his best not to worry about his missing shadow. It was bound to turn up sooner or later. After all, how far could a shadow possibly go?

It was strange at first, not having a shadow. Something was missing in the corner of his eye, and he was constantly checking under his feet to see if his shadow had returned. But… there was so much to do. So much work, so many meetings, so many things that needed to be taken care of, so many things to keep him rushing around, that before long he was too busy to really notice.

No one else really noticed either. He had been so worried about what people would think, when they saw him walking around without a shadow. Would they laugh at him? Would they make fun of him? Would they turn their eyes away and pretend he wasn’t there? No. Everyone was as busy as he was. Who had the time to pay attention to whether or not a stranger’s shadow had gone missing?

Certainly, he wouldn’t have noticed…

At last the day came to an end. His shadow still hadn’t turned up. That was a little disappointing, but… he was so tired… it had been such a long day, and he didn’t have the energy left to be worried. He would sleep on it. Maybe his shadow would turn up in the morning.

But it didn’t.

Nor did his shadow return the day after, or the day after that.

He passed the days as he always had. He woke up in the morning, went out into the world, and returned late in the evening. Shadow or not, life went on. There was always something to be done, always something to keep him busy, always something that urgently needed his attention. And as the days passed by, a little thought slowly grew inside of him…

Did he really need a shadow?

He was getting on perfectly fine without it. After all, what had his shadow ever done for him? Not a lot. His shadow had only ever trudged along behind him, and not even once had it so much lifted as a finger to help him. Not even once had his shadow spoken even a single kind word to him. It had always just trudged along, copying his every move. It had always just stood there in silence, watching on has he faced the world.

What a useless thing to have around!

Good riddance! If his shadow was just going to disappear without a word, well, he didn’t need something like that around anyway!

The realisation made him feel so much lighter. There was so much more he could do, without his shadow holding him back. Everyone else was dragging along this extra weight, and no one was any the wiser. Only he knew better. Only he was free.

And so the days passed by, until the days became weeks, and the weeks became months.

He no longer looked over his shoulder, to see if his shadow was there. The little something missing in the corner of his eye faded away, until he no longer noticed it. He went through life just as he had before. The world kept turning, and the man without a shadow went out into it, day after day, keeping busy and doing all the things he needed to do.

One morning, he woke up and felt a sadness weighing down on him.

He sighed. It wasn’t the best way to start the day, waking up to find a sadness sitting on his shoulders. Still, there wasn’t much he could do about it, right at the moment. There was so much that needed doing. He would have to just put up with it.

And so, he went out into the world and got on with the business of the day, trying not to let it bother him. The sadness wouldn’t stay with him forever. What would, if even his shadow had left him?
It was strange at first, carrying this sadness with him. His hands moved that little bit slower, his feet didn’t seem to lift quite as high off the ground. But… there was so much to do. So much work, so many meetings, so many things that needed to be taken care of, so many things to keep him rushing around, that before long he was too busy to really notice.

He wondered if people would notice the sadness sitting on him. Would they pity him? Would they laugh at him? Would their eyes be drawn to him, would anyone speak a word of scorn or comfort? No. No one mentioned a thing. Everyone was so busy. Who had the time to pay attention to whether a stranger had picked up a heavy sadness? Certainly, he wouldn’t have noticed.

At last, the day came to an end. And still, the sadness was with him. That was a little worrying, but… he was so tired… it had been such a long day, and he didn’t have the energy left to try and shake it off. He would sleep on it. Maybe the sadness would leave by tomorrow.

But it didn’t.

Nor did the sadness leave the day after, or the day after that.

The days passed by. The sadness clung on, pulling down at him. In everything he did, the sadness would be there, a heavy weight pressing down on him. At first he tried to shake it off, to set it aside as he went about his tasks. He tried to find somewhere he could put it down, if only for a little while. But where could he put it? He wished that someone could be there for him, to help him carry this heavy weight. But who could do such a thing, to be with him at every step? There was no one but him.
And so, he learnt to live with his sadness. He learnt not to notice it, and not to let it pull him too far down. Slowly, his sadness became a part of him, as much as his arms or his legs were a part of him. As much as his shadow had once been a part of him.

One day, in a rare moment of respite, he found himself standing alone in a quiet place. He wanted to rest his weary feet, and leaned against a nearby lamp post for support, his eyes falling downwards to the ground. By his feet, a long, thin patch of darkness stretched out into the distance. How long had it been since he’d seen a sight like that?

He remembered, long ago, he too once had a shadow.

What was it doing, now that it had left him?

He remembered how his shadow had always stood beside him. True, his shadow might not have ever done much to help him, but it had always stuck by him through thick and thin. It had been there through the good times and the bad. No matter how busy he had been, no matter how fast he had to rush to get things done, his shadow would be his steady companion, a silent witness to the ups and downs of life.

Everything around him had a shadow. Everyone had a shadow, to hold them up and carry the weight of the things they couldn’t see. Everyone had a friend to remind them that they made a difference in the world, no matter how small that might be. Only he was all alone, and insubstantial.

He realised, as he stood leaning against the lamp post, that he was crying.

He pushed himself upright, doing his best to shake the sadness from his shoulders. This couldn’t go on. He should never have let this happen. He should never have let things go this far. Everything else would have to wait. Come what may, he had to find his shadow.

So he set off, walking through the world, dragging his sadness along behind him. He searched far and wide, in all the high places and all the low. He searched in all the hidden nooks and crannies, in all the quiet places by the wayside. He searched in every corner and behind every wall, and in all the places a shadow might like to hide.

And every step of the way, his sadness was there beside him, reminding him of what he had lost.
Soon, there was nowhere else to look. But still he hadn’t found his shadow.

Defeated, he made his way back home, slouching up towards the door. He couldn’t bring himself to go inside. There would be nothing waiting for him there. He turned away, facing towards the setting sun. He shadow had loved the sunset, stretching out playfully far, far into the distance. Even alone, he could at least watch, and remember, as the darkness fell.

He could feel the sadness creeping in again. It had been with him for so long now. There was a familiarity to it, as it pooled inside him and settled by his feet. It was almost comforting to know that it was there. He had dragged it along, every step of the way, and now, ever so gently, it was pulling back at him. Just a little tug, as he stood in the last of the fading light.

Just a little something, in the corner of his eye.

Could it be?

He turned, and… there it was.

His shadow had returned, stretching out in front of him.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He raised a nervous hand in greeting, and to his great relief, his shadow raised a hand in reply. He took a few unsteady steps, and sure enough, his shadow followed, never missing a single beat. Every movement in perfect unison, just like before.
He could feel his body growing that little bit lighter, as the sadness he carried all alone trickled out from him. And as it did, his shadow thickened and grew long in the dying light. A single tear fell, landing by his shadow’s feet.

If only he had known…

He crouched down low, wanting to get as close to his shadow as he could. Ever obliging, his shadow crouched down with him. He reached out his hand, and so did his shadow.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Can you ever forgive me? Please, stay with me. I promise I’ll never leave you again.’

He waited until his shadow had faded into the darkness of the night, before slowly pulling himself to his feet. Everything would be okay. Even if he couldn’t see it, his shadow was there. It would always be there, every step of the way, walking through life with him.